Something quite surprising is occurring… The training is starting to show! And not on-stage necessarily. But in another part of my life entirely.
We know the basic life stories of the people close to us. We know that their losses were such and such, their loves and high peaks such… but experiencing pain and extroverting it changes something within you.
Personal pain becomes a wrapping. It closes in on us and we think no-one can feel it as intensely as we do.. but feeling that pain on behalf of your character does something different. Instead of it being your own self-pitying wrapping it becomes something that can be extended outward.
Listening to my mum reminiscing on a story of past pain, a story she’s told me many many times I felt my heart aching for her in a way it has never done before. It was as if empathy was taken to another level. I wasn’t listening to just support her, i was listening and feeling and sharing her pain and TRULY understanding her. I “pained” WITH her. Specifically HER pain.
I think up until this point I used to listen and then relate her story to something in my own life. Unconsciously. I used to think many reasonable thoughts such as “it’s good she got herself out of that mess” or “had she not done this and that this and that would not have ensued… poor mom..” But for once I just sat and FELT with her. No judgement. No solutions.
And that is REALLY why we need to talk to the people we love so badly. Lounging on the psychologist’s couch could never do that. Although technically a psychologist should make you feel comfortable and should not judge but merely “listen”.. its not listening that we want! We want someone to FEEL with us. Not transferring our gut-wrenching pains or problems but merely someone that can feel a stirring in their hearts as you talk, and then sit in silence with you. No judgement. No solutions.
God! Acting is so wonderful!
